Can You Hear Me Now?

I was sitting in the recliner yesterday knitting away when my iPhone started playing "Gasoline and Matches" and my brother's picture popped up on the screen.  I always get a laugh when I hear that song because my brother and I are SUCH opposites in many ways and we do mix about as well as gasoline and matches sometimes.  Yet in many ways we are quite similar.  We are both very compulsive people.  We suspect that we are the only ones who have the correct answer on a lot of things.  We can even be pretty obsessive, too.  When we get together, we're loud, we tease, we laugh, and we don't hesitate to disagree.   Bottom line - we're siblings who love each other, quirks and all.

So the phone rang and I answered it with a "What's up?"

"Well, I got an iPhone," replied my brother.

"That's great," I answered.  "You're going to love it."

"I don't know," he said.  "I can't see the screen."

"What do you mean, you can't see the screen," I quizzed.  "You mean you can't read the icons?"

"No, I can't read the posts on Facebook, " he replied.  "I could read the screen on my Blackberry but I can't see this screen without putting my reading glasses on."

I asked him if he had tried expanding areas of the screen with his fingers or if he'd turned the phone on its side and yes, he'd tried all of that but just couldn't seem to get used to it and apparently didn't want to have to admit that his eyes were needing reading glasses now.

"Hey, John,' I teased.  "Looks like you're just getting old.  Your eyes aren't what they used to be.  Better get those reading glasses out."

Just then the phone went dead.  I tried to call him back several times but couldn't connect with him.  Then I noticed that I had a message in my voicemail.  I checked it out and heard this message:

"Um, Dee...this is embarrassing but I heard you call back and I can't figure out how to answer the phone."

When we finally reconnected on the phone, I gave him a good ribbing about being such an old fogey that he couldn't even figure out how to answer a cell phone.  Actually, I could sympathize with him.  Some years ago, the Commander and I had been in a mall on Black Friday with new cell phones and my sister-in-law had called me and neither one of us could figure out how to answer my phone.  We actually went into a store and asked a clerk if they could figure it out.

I told my brother that I'd email him with a list of the iPhone apps that I had on my phone and ones that were highly recommended in different magazines that I subscribe to.  I'm always researching new apps for my phone and being the researcher that I am, this is an assignment right up my alley.

In fact, I just downloaded a new iPhone app called "autoringtone" that supposedly has lots of different voices and effects that you can program to say whatever you type in and then you can assign these customized sayings to different contacts for their ringtones.  Oh, boy....this could be fun.  I plan to spend some time this afternoon playing with this new app and then I'll come up with a new ringtone for that brother of mine.  Hmmm,wouldn't it be fun if I could remotely program HIS iPhone to play one of my customized ringtones when I call?  Heh, heh, heh!

Revin' It Up!

My brother just purchased an ATV for the hunting land he has up north.  I guess he's had a long-time dream of owning one of these and finally he has one.  So this weekend, he decided that we all were going to take a turn learning how to drive it.

First up was my nephew, John.  He got the 5-second instruction on the controls and off he went.  Handled it just like a pro, too.  I was impressed.  Oh, oh....if he was slowing down then it meant that I was next up.

I headed off around to the front yard, just skirting the drain pipe and the flag pole, around to the other side of the front yard and then headed back off to the back yard.

By my second circuit around the backyard, I was whizzing and having a ball.  Whee!  I have to admit that it was a lot of fun.

It was the Commander's turn next and he took the "responsible" approach, driving sensibly and responsibly but even so, I could tell that he was enjoying himself, too.

My sister-in-law wasn't going to take a turn but we convinced her to have a go at it and off she went after a quick orientation by my brother.

She was a natural at it.  Last up was my brother who went to town, even losing his hat on one turn but by then my fingers were so frozen that I couldn't snap any more pictures even if I'd wanted to (sorry, John!).

And before the ATV was even back in the garage, most of us were back inside the house waiting for the kettle to heat up so we could get some hot tea into us and warm up.  It's always good times when our families get together.  It's a chance to laugh, act like kids again, and make more memories. 

One Man's Junk

My brother has a knack for finding unusual things.  I think it's a gift that our family has -- finding the absurd in this world.  Anyway today he came out into the living room and said, "Hey, you've got to see my latest find."

Oh, boy!  I thought to myself that it was probably going to be something.  I was right.  He disappeared down into the basement and then bounded back up the stairs with a lamp that had the base of a parking meter.  And it was a REAL parking meter.

"Where in the world did you find that?" I asked.

"I saw it sitting in someone's trash along the side of the road up North," he replied.  "There were two of them so my buddy got one and I got one."

"It gets even better," he continued.  "Try holding it."

He set it in my hands and the darn thing was HEAVY!

"Jeepers!" I exclaimed.  "What in the world?  Is it full of coins?"

"Yes," he said.  "I jimmied the back and look at this."  John pried open a little slot in the back and pulled out a container that was filled with coins.

I couldn't believe it.  Someone had thrown away this "gem" of a lamp and it had been filled with money.

"Now," he said, handing me a coin, "put this in one of the coin slots."

I did as directed and darn if the lamp didn't light up.  Wow!  What a conversation piece.  Have friends over and let them feed your lamp.  Make a little money on the side.

"If you put in a nickel, the lamp stays lit for an hour.  Put in a dime and you can have light for 2 hours," he laughed.

And to think that someone threw out a treasure like this!

Closet Gains

My brother told me the other day that his mother-in-law asked him "Is that your belly hanging over your belt?"  He said to me, "You ought to blog about THAT!"  Hey, you don't have to ask me twice.  It got me to thinking about our family's complicated relationship with food and weight over the years.  You see, my brother has been a little critical at times in years past about my battle with putting on pounds.  I started out pretty thin and was looking pretty good at his wedding, despite the fact that I'd had a baby just 3 months earlier.   His heart has always been in the right place but I usually wasn't in the mood for a lecture in self-control over the Thanksgiving holidays, with him explaining how easy it should be to eat correctly and forgo extra helpings of dessert.  John was the lucky one in our family.  He was pretty naturally thin and I will also give him credit.  He works out daily.....has a lot of discipline that way.

Our dad was thin most of his life, too.  And he also would give my mom well-meaning lectures on how easy it should be to eat correctly and keep your weight at the right level.  She took it about as well as I did.  So I was rather gleeful to find out that after I had left home, my dad started taking his trousers around the block to my grandma's house to have her alter the waistbands.  Seems he was gaining some weight around the middle and he didn't want my mom to find out.  Ha!  I hope he gained (besides the small amount of weight) a little understanding in how it's not always so easy to control your weight.

Looks like my brother's metabolism has taken a nose dive along with the rest of us.  Of course, it doesn't help that we both like to eat our sweets (and he does enjoy that occasional beer).  I think he now realizes that keeping slim isn't always quite as simple as it seems.  So I am trying NOT to chuckle about the "belly" comment....I truly am.  But I also can't help thinking, in my weaker moments, "Welcome to my world."

Back in the Keystone State

My last few days in Michigan have come to an end.  My brother, sister-in-law and I celebrated in style.  Last evening we went out for Coney Island hot dogs and ice cream sundaes.  This was after another marathon session of entering more items on Ebay.

All yesterday John kept running in to say, "We got another sale on Ebay."  Then a few minutes later he'd be in with some boxes saying, "We just got payment for these on Ebay."  Oy!  We had a regular little Shipping Central going at his house for awhile there.

Then this morning I got up bright and early (5: 15 a.m. is pretty early for me) and had already loaded up half the car by the time my brother got up.  He did the important stuff, like make coffee.  And then it was time to say goodbye.

It's never easy saying goodbye to John and Rose.  I always have so much fun with them - even if it's doing Ebay with them.  Poor Rose.  I left her with a living room filled with boxes and shipping material.  Her house may never be the same again.

I also had a few more things to pack in the car than I had brought out - like my new Majacraft spinning wheel, Lyda Rose.  And my Army fatigues that John insisted I take with me.  I am proud to say that my fatigue jacket still fits although it will be quite awhile before I can get back into my Army uniform.  I might be able to wiggle into my combat boots, though.  But hey, it's been over 30 years.

I listened to (and sang along with) some great gospel and praise music on the way home as well as heard some good gospel preaching, which kept me awake.  I ate too much junk food and drank too much coffee, which also helped keep me awake while driving.  And then I pulled into the driveway and walked into the house to find a VERY excited puppy and soon, one very relieved hubby.  So, as Shakespeare would say, "all's well that ends well."  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.

Seasons Change and So Do Siblings

My brother's birthday is tomorrow.  I think he's reached the peak of the 50's and is starting down the far side but don't tell him that I told you.  After all, I'm still the big sis, which means that I'll always be older but c'est la vie!  That's him up above after one of his birthdays.  He got quite a nice haul, didn't he?  Not a video game in the bunch but I'll bet he got many months of play out of that stash.  And dig that fedora!  Not many boys could pull off that cool look.

Anyhow, thinking about his birthday got me to thinking about our years growing up together.  He's my only sibling and we didn't exactly see eye-to-eye when we were younger.  I think it all started with the fact that I was the only child for the first 5 years of my life.  Then along came this pipsqueak.  To make matters worse, he was born with a broken collarbone so he got a lot of extra attention those first few weeks at home while I kind of faded into the woodwork, a position that I was NOT used to finding myself in.

I guess you could say that my attitude toward life in general (and my brother, in particular) could be summed up by the above photograph.  It all stunk!  I found life with my brother to be about as palatable as my Mom's overcooked peas I'd try to force down my throat.  My brother, on the other hand, attacked everything with gusto.  Grrrrrr!

To make matters worse, just as he was getting cuter and cuter, I was getting dopier looking.  I was getting the dreaded "buckteeth", my eyes had gone bad so I now had spectacles, and I was chunking up.  Mom still insisted on dressing us up in ridiculous outfits and my sunny disposition continued to go south.  I became the bossy older sister and we became the "battling Looses" - always fighting over this or that little turf war.  When we'd go on long car trips (an annual summer event), our mom was reduced to stacking pillows from seat to ceiling between the two of us in the car, figuring if we couldn't see each other, we wouldn't fight.  We usually hadn't made it more than 10 miles out of town before the pillows had tumbled like the walls of Jericho and we were going at it and our dad was massaging his forehead.

But somewhere along the line, things began to change.  I think it happened when I was off at college.  He started to become human.  By the time I had graduated and he was now off at college, our relationship was entering a new phase.  I was actually starting to like my brother and miss him.  Go figure!  The years continued to go by, he graduated and got a job out East, I joined the military and suddenly we were doing things like sking together and sightseeing around Europe together with Eurail passes.  And you know what?  We were having a good time.  He wasn't such bad company.

When I got married and had our first child, my brother was one of our first visitors.  He was a pretty proud uncle and still is!  I was pretty thrilled to be able to show off our daughter to him and have him there to share in our joy.

When he got married, I was thrilled to be asked to be a part of the wedding party.  My "baby brother" had grown up and was starting a family of his own.  I was so proud that day and so happy for him.  And when his sons were born, you would have been hard-pressed to find a happier aunt.  I love those boys!

Another amazing thing ---I discovered that my brother and I share the same quirky sense of humor.  I guess we were so busy fighting as kids that we just didn't realize how much alike we were in so many ways.

As the years have continued on, we've both banded together to take care of our mom as best we can.  We've become an informal "care team", trying to make the best decisions for her as multiple mini-strokes have robbed her of her independence and much of her cognitive skills.  While Mom was still able to travel, he even made some of the annual pilgrimages with Mom and me out to Minnesota to visit the relatives, stopping in Wisconsin to visit Dad's grave.  I'll never forget the time we had on our last visit with Mom and Aunt Maxine, as they were both exhibiting the beginnings of dementia  and how many late-night trips to a diner John and I had to make for some apple pie a la mode just to save our sanity. 

He and I battled the "wildlife" at Mom's house (long vacant while she lived with us) and we sure worked hard together trying to get her house ready to sell.  What a job we had getting it all cleaned out and spruced up.  It wasn't exactly a "walk down Memory Lane."  It was more like a "nightmare on Elm Street."  But we pulled together and got it done.

So here's to you, John.  We might have gotten off to a rocky start but somewhere along the line, you became the best brother a girl could ever ask for.  Happy Birthday!

Ma, He's Looking at Me!

My brother drove here from Michigan to spend time with us over the Easter weekend. One of the things he really likes to do while here is
bowl and eat at the Waffle House. So after we all went bowling, we headed over to my mom's apartment to pick her up so she could join us for lunch.

My husband loaded her into the front seat which meant that brother John had to get into the back seat with me. Off we sped and I noticed that John was giving me "the look."

"Ma, he's looking at me. Make him stop," I joked.

John gave me a grin and pushed his foot over toward my side of the car. "Ma, he's over on my side now. Make him get over on his side," I complained.

Mom looked out the window and ignored us while she blissfully picked her nose. John leaned forward and said, "Mom, stop picking your nose. Don't you shake hands with that hand? Use a kleenex." He settled back in his seat and farted.

"Ewww, Mom, John just farted. Open the window. I'm dying back here."
"Did not!"
"Did too!"

"What did I miss?," Mom shouted happily. Nothing tickles her more than someone passing gas.

My husband just stared ahead straightfaced, clutching the wheel and wondering for the umpteenth time what he had gotten himself into when he met me.

It's nice to know during these days of global warming, terrorist threats, armed conflicts around the world, and rising gas prices that there are still chances to return to simpler times and just be a kid again.