Tag! You're Sick!

I'm sick! And I'm sick of being sick! Somehow those nasty cold germs or sinus infection germs or maybe bronchitis germs got to me and here I am, sniffling and hacking away. OK, I couldn't find a picture that shows me REALLY sick because noone wants to get that close to me to take a picture, but you get the idea. Maybe it was those lovely older ladies at my mom's nursing home. If so, then obviously the paper towel to open doors didn't do the trick. Then again, it might have been the "extend the right hand of fellowship" drill at church where half the congregation had to pause to wipe their snot-filled noses before they could shake hands. All I know is that my daughter is getting married in 9 days and right now I sound like someone who has smoked 3 packs of cigarettes and downed a quart of whiskey every day for years. This is NOT a good thing.



On top of that, I've been trying to write about my son's wedding for weeks now and, for some reason, have hit a writer's block on that. Don't ask me why! It was a lovely wedding and I'm so happy that Laura and he are now married. So why can't I seem to get them past the rehearsal dinner? Good grief! I can't even get my own son to the church in a timely manner. If I didn't have that ringing in my ears, I would be able to hear my mother's voice in my ear saying, "Pull yourself up by the bootstraps, girl, and get it done!" OK, OK....how about if I just throw you some little snippets to give you the flavor of the festivities?


Our two children and their fiances spent time together before the ceremony bonding and having fun teasing each other about the upcoming ceremonies. Our Laura is getting married in March of this year so her time is coming up soon. Our daughter's Jason was feeling the Texas vibes almost as soon as he stepped off the plane and looked over that open vista. Yup, he had to go get a steak and a belt buckle. For the rest of their time in Texas, it was a standing joke as we referred to the "power of the belt buckle." We are still daring Laura's Jason to wear it with his wedding ensemble in March.

The photographers took lots of pictures prior to the church service. There was a small chapel off the main sanctuary and that is where we all gathered to take the wedding pictures while the first
service was going on in the main sanctuary. Of course it was fun to watch all the different branches of the families lobbying to get their groups together for pictures. Gotta think of those Christmas cards, you know! Me? I was just enjoying the dynamics of the whole business and especially liking the smiles on the faces of the bride and groom. Since the wedding ceremony was actually part of the second worship service, we had to keep an eye on the clock to make sure we all got into the sanctuary on time and found a place to sit.



The wedding was wonderful. Each of the parents were able to participate by leading special readings that had been picked by Jason and Laura and then the congregation joined in response.
Laura's sister, Andrea played the trumpet at the beginning and at the end. When the vows were said, the immediate familywas able to stand at the front of the church with the couple in support, which was extra meaningful to me. I only started to cry then and George slipped a tissue into my hands. And then, the newlyweds were introduced to the congregation and they proceeded out to the fellowship hall for the reception.
The reception was a hoot. James, Jason's youth pastor from our church, was the emcee. He had the different tables doing things like having to sing the theme from Gilligan's Island in order to head to the buffet line. I'm sure there weren't many there who had ever had to sing for their supper before. And after the food, we got to tell stories about the couple. Hearing the different relatives sharing funny experiences and just things from their hearts was really a blessing. There was even a story from youth camp that James told about Jason that I'd never heard before. The Song of Solomon, Jason? Really!


And then they were heading off on their honeymoon. We all walked back into the reception hall, tired but happy and now faced with the fun of cleaning up afterwards. As shoes were kicked off and work clothes replaced dress suits, suddenly a ripple of laughter could be heard. David, Laura's dad, had just gotten a call on his cellphone from Jason. Apparently our blissful newlyweds had driven off into the Texas sun and only just realized that they didn't know how to get to the ranch where they would be spending their honeymoon.


"Are you heading west?" asked David. "OK, then just keep driving and I'll go find Mom and get the directions."


Two sets of parents looked at each other and we shook our heads. "Kids!" I thought. "They are adults but they're still kids," and my mind flashed back to the day I had wanted to pin Jason's name and the directions back to our house on his shirt when he headed off to kindergarten.


"Lord, they're in your hands now," I prayed and went to find a broom.

Do I LOOK like I belong here?

I must digress from the story of Jason and Laura's wedding for a moment to tell you what happened today. I headed over to the nursing home to visit my mom. They are in the midst of a flu epidemic over there so I was a little nervous about putting myself in the midst of all those germs but I hadn't been there for awhile and I was really missing Mom.

Just as soon as I entered the home, there was a prominent sign warning folks about the presence of "The Flu" and an equally prominent antibacterial soap dispenser on the counter with a sign advising all visitors to wash their hands with this soap before and after their visit.

I dutifully lathered up, grabbed a paper towel and then decided against pitching that towel since it would be useful to open and close doors with. I figured I might be able to avoid actually touching any door knobs that way.

Off I went down the hall to Mom's wing, which just happens to be the dementia ward. As I passed the dining hall I noticed that it was practically empty. "Probably keeping everyone in their rooms," I thought. "Divide and conquer. Makes it easier to control the spread of germs that way."

I found myself creeping along behind an elderly woman who was being given a tour of the facility by one of the staff. When she got to the door into the dementia wing, the staff member told her how the door can be opened by visitors and staff but is rigged to stay locked if one of the residents is within so many feet of the door. The staff member cautioned the lady to be careful whenever she went through those doors because some of the residents living on the dementia wing liked to try to slip through when a visitor came or went.

"Do they do that often," the lady asked.

"You'd be surprised how often they try and you'd also be surprised by how persuasive they can be when they try to talk visitors into letting them go out. Some look quite normal but their minds aren't really all there," she said.

By now, the two ladies had passed through the doors and I slipped in behind them, still trying not to touch anything. The visitor looked up at me, startled and asked the staff member, "Should I have let her through?"

"It's OK," I assured her. "I'm actually one of the ones whose mind is still here."

She looked me up and down rather doubtfully so I continued on, "No, really. It's OK. I'm here to visit my mother. She lives on this wing." At that point the staffer finally jumped in and came to my rescue, assuring the lady that I was indeed a visitor, just like her.

So now I find myself wondering what was it about me that made that lady think I belonged on the dementia wing? Was it the crumpled paper towel I was grasping in my hand? My "Inspector Monk"-like horror as I tried to dodge the door before it could touch me? Maybe it was the spiked hairdo or the dilated pupils which I can directly blame on the allergy medicine I took that morning. In any case, there is a little part of me that would have LOVED to give that lady a real show this morning......to have busted loose and acted crazy as a loon like Jack Nicholson in "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest." But then again, do I REALLY want to have my mother as a roommate?